Going down?!
As I enjoy my orange and coffee — black, I gaze over the news — learn of a popular Albany hangout spot a blaze, an old teacher accused of misusing his state job and the usual fiery crash on 1-90.
But this morning — I stumbled across something that made my bottom lip quiver like your older sister watching “Simon Birch” for the first time.
The teaser read “Roller coasters can be bad for your health.” ::coffee on my lap::
My first gut reaction was “yea, no sh*t,” but then I thought — wait a minute. Should I be concerned?
Should I be concerned that I spend each and every winter day wondering when I’ll be slingshot from the top of Bizarro’s 225ft, 79 degree drop again? Should I be concerned that I’ve been on a few roller coasters, multiple times and still can’t remember the rides in their entirety?
Even before clicking the link — thoughts ran through my head. Fond memories of the day I grew a set and rode my first upside down roller coaster (Loch Ness Monster; Busch Gardens) — with my 8th grade math teacher screaming next to me, or the first time I rode the infamous “X” — my brother white as a ghost.
Then I went to the Times Union blog — only to find out they say roller coasters may cause damage to your ears.
Still concerned?
Nah. My ear drums are already shot. Frightened teens on a sweet 16 party gone bad sitting next to me as I plummet hundreds of feet won’t keep the twitch in my leg from coming back every spring.
So DON’T panic. Celebrate! The annual summer of steel is upon us. So as a toast — I provide my picks for must ride coasters this summer.
1. Bizarro (formerly Superman: Ride of Steel); Six Flags New England. Easiest to get to — best plunge for your penny. 225ft drop, 78 mph; 2:33 minutes. Longest ride you’ll find on the east coast.
2. Medusa (also now called Bizarro); Six Flags New Jersey. Most fun you can have in a minute and a half. Lots of loops, cork screws and g-force. No lines — far end of park.
3. X2 (squared); Six Flags Magic Mountain. Hands down — the coolest experience you’ll have on steel. Imagine staring at the California horizon before plummeting at 89 degrees in a free-fall position, then swan diving to the pavement below. Suggestion for 6-hour wait line — get there early and beat out the 12 year olds in the mad dash to the gates.
Arms up; feet out.
Arbuckle TV 
oh boy, I can still hear that ‘BIZZARO, BIZZARO, BIZZARO’ chant clearly in my ears!
Let’s make sure to get out on those rollers as soon as possible!
PS: I don’t even recall watching Simon Birch let alone sobbing. You all seem to remember it clearly. I wonder if it is another one of those family hallucinations, like a certain drawing of a high school crush…
… with his baseball cap on looking longingly to the.. bear with me.. fuzzy on details.. to the left?? Matt and Chris would know.